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V from Larchmont, NY
I am a first generation Italian-American from a working class family.
I always received maternal support for education since my mother was forced
to leave school (she was valedictorian of her junior high class) and work in a
factory. I have been very driven and have attained graduate degrees,
memberships in organizations, and leadership positions.
I was not aware of class till college when I was invited to a friend's home
in the "burbs" and became aware of a different way of life. I have studied
the issue of class in social situations, especially in those that deal with
schooling issues. To a degree social class determines the "inequity" of
educational opportunities and social cues.
Sharon from Greenwich, CT
I used to live in New Jersey with my mother and father but once my
parents got a divorce, I had to move with my mother out to Greenwich,
Connecticut, so I could be nearer to HER job and HER parents. So now I go to
places like the Westchester Country Club with my grandparents. The clubs and
people are so prestigious and so ritzy. Even my school, (I go to private
school now) is so different from my old ordinary public school back in
Jersey. I feel so out of place and uncomfortable!
Susie from Springfield, VA
My family used to be in the upper class. We had money to travel
anywhere we wanted and we could get practically anything we wanted. Then,
suddenly, my mom got breast cancer. She had to use all of our money for
medical bills. We had to move from our 4-bedroom house to a small 2 bedroom
town house. We had to sell our car and now we don't go on anymore vacations.
We are realy struggling. My mom can't get a regular job because she has a
disability from chemotherapy and she can't work in front of computers. The only
money we get is child support from my dad. We have no family to help us. My
mom is a really good photographer and she wants to sell her self-made cards
but she doesn't have any money to get the supplies she needs. I feel really
sorry for her and I love her very much...she is such a good person & she
doesn't deserve this.
Andrew from Columbus, OH
I was born and raised in a middle class family in Toledo Oh. Both of
my parents have bachelor degrees from the local university. After being the
first person in my family to go away from home for a BA, I
decided to pursue a master's degree. The world of higher education and
business management is completely different than my upbringing and home life.
I am repeatedly asked by my family when I am going to get a "real" job, and
when will I start earning money. My wife, who has a similar background, acts
the same way my parents and her parents do. It has been hard enjoying
graduate school with this pressure.
Danette from Muncie, IN I am a third generation American on my mother's side of the family and distanced from my father's side, though they've been in the U.S. far longer. Both families were working class, but my mother's family valued education and the desire to "get ahead" financially. My maternal grandparents were able in their lifetimes to see their families live the American Dream. Each generation achieved more and more education, and continued to see their standard of living rise. In my immediate family however, I am the only one with a college degree. Though my cousins, aunts, and uncles are decidely middle-class my parents and siblings seem trapped at the blue-collar level. I do not mind this, except that they work very hard physically to make their way. I am a teacher, and feel guilt over my success at escaping their struggles. I did pay for my own education, and take great pride in that, but I received a fair amount of financial assistance due to growing up in poverty, raised on public assistance by a single mother. The population of kids I work with are from similar backgrounds and I am a fairly successful teacher, in part because I have a very clear understanding of the situations their families struggle to deal with and the difficulties inherent in atempting to decipher and please the middle-class demands placed on students in our system. After all, most of my colleagues are middle-class, and have a great deal of difficulty appreciating that for some families education is not a highly valued commodity. They also have a limited appreciation of how hard it really is to deal with parents whose lives are so out of control due to drug, alcohol, and/or legal problems that just getting up and going to school could be considered an accomplishment. Sometimes I feel embarrassed by the lack of self-determination my immediate family exhibits, and it can be hard to talk to them due to the differences in education. There are issues of which they are unaware, aspects of the infrastructures in our society which they cannot comprehend, and they don't understand how to make a solid argument or strike at the heart of a contentious or controversial issue. These seem to be related to the lack of higher education, though I find that they are very smart people. Sometimes they seem too loud, ignorant of art and literature, lacking in fine art appreciation, incapable of pursuing intellectual interests merely for the inherent pleasure available in it.
I also struggle with the reality that due to the career path I've chosen it
is unlikely that I will ever be able to rise economically above the middle
class. Sometimes I am struck with the sense that I have clawed my way up to
a secure middle class position from my impoverished childhood, but that I
have gone as far as I will be able. Though I have no particular desire to be
upper class, I would like to know that it is not beyond my reach, that having
financial security beyond the necessities and a few luxuries is not an option
for me. That I will not make enough to help my parents and sibs, and that I
will be fortunate if I am able to pay for the education of children I hope to
have.
Cary from Charleston, SC
My parents are not very rich, have had money troubles in the past, but
I went to a private boarding school, have traveled to many different states
and contries and have nice clothes. I have my own apartment, and go to a
college "out of state." I also was a debutante back home in Cincinnati. I
appear very wealthy. But the fact is, my family spends the money we do have
on different things. I have no health insurance, my car is paid for (a used
92 Blazer, nothing great) my parents have had their electricity turned off and
they get calls from collection people all the time. I have 4 jobs and go to
school so I can afford to go shopping. But when I shop I buy things on sale
and I get gifts. It is amazing how it works out. The way things work out are
hidden by my appearance and my acomplishments. (or where I have been and
where I went to school) so I guess I am sort of a roller coaster story.
Suzanne from Madison, WI For the first 14 years of my life I lived in a semiaffluent suburb of St. Louis. I attended a private religious school, my father was an accountant at a prominent national accounting firm and my mother was a teacher. I considered my family to be average maybe a little higher in the income bracket than the people who lived around me. My parents come from working class incomes, my one grandfather worked for the local telephone company and the other one was an auto mechanic. My grandmother had been a nurse, but my parents didn't grow up in affluent households. They both worked to put themselves through college, and were first generation college students. The year before I entered high school my father was laid off from his job and we relocated to the Madison WI area. Since we had horses, my parents decided to settle in the country. What a total culture shock! The high school I ended up attending was made up of mostly rural students and many of them were of a lower income bracket. When I lived in St. Louis (which is a very materialistic city, if you don't have it, you are looked down upon), it was nothing to go to cultural events and travel. Most of the kids I ended up in high school with had never traveled out of the state, thought that my family was "rich" because we had a bigger house (actually our house was smaller than the one in St. Louis)and that my siblings and I were "smart" because we were a year ahead in our classes because of the different curriculum at our previous school. The school we transferred to was very sports oriented and we had come from a school district that was more culturally oriented, so interests were not the same so it was hard. In all, it has been hard to adjust to this area, I think it was hardest for my parents. They were leaving an area that they had lived in for 20 years, and coming to a new area. Many of the people in the new area my parents age already had grandkids because there is a tendency to get married young. Also the interests were different because my parents were not into farming, hunting, (and I have to admit it, sports, especially football which rules WI social life). It has been a hard transition, but after 9 years getting better.
For me, it improved when I went to college, because I found more people with the same interests as me, and am now not seeing the class issue as much, but I would have to say if I had to identify my self I am upper middle class.
Sandra from Athens, OH I grew up in a small rural community in southeastern Ohio. I was oblivious
to class differences and, like most Americans, assumed that I was within
the middle-class. We were actually working-class and lived in one of the
most impoverished rural areas in America. In high school, I made the unlikely
decision to attend college (something no one in my family had done and
very few of my friends were doing). Guidance counselors who didn't even
know my name told me that I would never get into college. I did, commuted
to school like a good working-class kid, and graduated with honors in psychology.
After working in dead-end jobs as a secretary for several years, I returned
to school to get a Ph.D. in Social Psychology. It was graduate school that
really fueled my class consciousness and I now conduct research on social
class prejudice and discrimination.
Derrick from Belleville, MI
From the stand point of a college student that really don't have that much money like me and parents who also don't have alot of money to get help from. Then there is the other points that come along like when you see people who really haven't worked hard at all in life because their parents can help them out in anyway possible. I work my tail off and I see people who have things and don't appeciate it. For example, when I see kids with new cars 99 and 2000's drive around and just kill the car but here I am working my ass off for my car that almost runs and almost gets me from point A to B and spend more money fixing it than anything. Also I'm and putting myself through school and these kids really don't go to school because they'd rather do drugs and here I am working my ass off to see some type of upward mobility in life better than my parents but I really don't have that great of a chance of that because I can't really afford to go to school but I'm working very hard...but it hurt so bad to see these things.
Amber from Alexandria, VA I grew up in Southern West Virginia, never lived any where else until
I graduated from college and moved to Washington, DC. I thought I could
handle the transition but had no idea what I would face. It has been the
best "learning experience" of my life. The class structure in and around
the nation's capital is so very defined. Either you have money or you don't.
There's no in between. Most of the upper class here come equipped with
an expensive education. If you don't have that - you're nothing. I always
knew that people of Appalachian descent had a reputation but I never knew
its strength. Appalachians are automatically assumed "lower class." It
is as if, regardless of my mind, I will never get the opportunity to go
far here because of my roots. I don't have a MA from Georgetown so I don't
really matter. The stories I could tell you . . .
Amanda from Maine
I have a friend that grew up in a military family that traveled a lot. Her family is very talented and could get good jobs. When her father got out of the army he got a very well paying job at a huge company as head of safety. Her mom worked for a local bank as an accountant. They are a pretty wealthy and when I brought her home to meet my family, they were not as accepting of her because they thought that I would wish I was rich and feel sorry for us because we are a low income family that earns under 20,000 dollars a year and have a long line of mill workers in our family. This put a lot of stress on me because her financial status didn't matter to me.
Joyce from Dallas, GA
Marlon from Garden Grove, CA My family moved from Los Angeles to Orange County in 1976. My friends
in L.A. were Black, Korean, Filipino, Mexican, Japanese, you name it hyphenated
Americans. Naturally it was kind of a shock to suddenly find myself in
a predominantly White Orange County at that time. It was not that, actually.
It was the fact that it was not "cool" to hang around minority kids like
myself. In high school, sophomores like myself had to share a locker with
someone. No one wanted to share a locker with me. I went to the school's
office to tell them of my predicament and their take on the matter was
that i wasn't trying hard enough to find friends. I spent most of my sophomore
year asking other kids if I could share a locker with them. I had to carry
my books everywhere I went because I never had a locker that year. The
only friend I had throughout high school was a Puerto Rican-American boy.
Neighborhood kids I knew did not like to be seen with me in high school.
When I graduated in 1980, it was like being freed.
Molly from Worcester, MA I grew up in a working-class neighborhood. We didn't always have money, my parents always managed to feed and clothe my sister and myself. The grammar school I attended was a small, neighborhood-type place, but stil exraordinarily ethnically diverse, where everyone was pretty much in the same boat-we had "everything but money" as the saying goes. When I went to middle school, however, I quickly became aware of a phenomenon I had never encountered before: the people from the "better" side of town, who lived in "better" areas of te city, who dressed in "better" clothes seemed to dominate the honors and college-prep level classes. his was no hard and fast rule, I showed up to my honors classes unabashedly in last years jeans and and-me-down shirts. I gradually became aware, however, that I was looked at diferently than my classmates with trendy wardrobes. My twelve year old mind, naturally rebelled and I spent two years at Worcester East Middle School as an ousider in my own classes, observing.
Our homes are more crime ridden, there is more violence, and the children growing up ther are hard put to avoid falling into it. But which is cause and which is effect? Despite my middle school experience, there have always been people telling me that I am capable of making something of myself. This gave me the ambition to take out student loans that my grandchildren will probly hae to pay of in order to get the college education I wanted. What if I had been told that I would most likely be pregnent at 17, working a minimum wage job at 21, and would most likely never get out of that situation? Every first grader knows that in America, anyone can succeed, but by high school, most have been told, by America, whether they will succeed or not.
Anne from Arlington, VA I grew up in a relatively affluent neighborhood in Arlington. My parents
both came from middle class backgrounds, and my mother stayed home and
raised my sister and me, while my dad worked as a lawyer in a private firm.
We were far from poor - there was never the worry that we might not eat
- but my parents' desire to project a certain level of affluence beyond
their means changed the definition of "need." Country Club memberships,
attendance at charity functions, expensive antiques, nice cars - these
became elements of need, rather than want. As a result, I feel as though
I am half blue-blood, half middle class. I have gone to public schools
all of my life (including college and grad school), but I feel as though
dating someone who went to public school (or, a lesser school - I went
to William & Mary) would be beneath me. Conversely, I don't really
fit in all that well with my contemporaries who were in the private school
set - they all seem rather stunted and closed-minded to other classes.
Susan from Baton Rouge, LA I grew up in Toronto, Canada; my father grew up working class but worked his way to upper middle class during my early childhood. I have for most of my life completely ignored class issues; I was barely even aware they existed, until... I began attending church where my husband works as the janitor. It is a large, affluent Protestant church, and since I have been there I have become unhappily conscious of things I never cared about at all before, (and still don't except in a peer pressure kind of way). I used to see my style as "thrift-shop eccentric" and I liked it. Now it seems just shabby, compared to the finesse and brand-name crispness of most of the church members. I have a strange class position in this church, because in some ways,
being married to its caretaker, I know more about what's going on there
than other more "important" members, but I'm more of an outsider, and of
a lower class for the same reason. Also, many members know my father because
he is a member of the same posh tennis club, so they don't quite know what
box to put me in. As annoying as all this can be, I forgive them - and
I stick around to give them the opportunity to see things differently.
Larry from Columbus, IN I'm the oldest son of five children of a college professor and a farm girl. Dad was a first-generation American born of conservative, working-class Swiss parents who imigrated to the US while in their early 20's. He was an outstanding scholar and gymnast in high school who worked his way through college. He met and married my mother (who had moved to the city to find a factory job) while he was still in college. Mom worked full-time and Dad worked part-time to pay his college expenses. Eventually, Dad earned his Phd and became a well-known, widely-published articulate, highly-regarded and distinguished professor at a state university, while Mom suplimented the family income by working in a factory for a few years while the five of us were growing up. After we moved out, she performed clerical work to remain active. Dad was a "reluctant" intellectual - brilliant, but modest. Though we lived in a university town, Mom never mentally, socially or emotionally moved off the farm. Dad's gentle nature allowed Mom's stronger personality to dominate our household. Her conservative, narrow-minded, intolerant views on religion, politics, economics, social issues, family values, etc., were a source of irritation, some embarrassment and conflict as we began to enter high school and college. As teenagers, we noticed the difference in class and style between Dad's colleagues (sophisticated, refined, worldly) and our social (Mom's church, working-class) friends. I began to resent my mother's dominant influence in our early lives, feeling that she had neglected to teach us the basic social skills needed to advance in our society. Of course, I later realized that she herself lacked the social skills to pass along to us. Now in her mid-80's, Mom, primarily because of Dad's achievements and reputation, would consider herself to be upper class. Both Mom and Dad encouraged and actively supported our participation in extracirricular school, sports and church activities and we were loved, looked after and nurtured. Besides three cousins out of 24, my brothers, sister and I were the only college graduates. Even my college experience was an extension of my earlier years because, for economic reasons, we all lived at home while attending college. In spite of my relatively sheltered home environment and background,
I became proficient at adapting certain charachteristics and social skills
of others whom I admired which enabled me to advance further professionally,
socially and economically than I ever thought possible as a youngster.
Today, my wife and I are comfortably entrenched in the upper middle class
of American society and are living what we consider to be the good life
- a comfortable, art-filled home surrounded by family and friends; we're
active in our community and country club, well-travelled, enjoyng good
health and looking forward to a long and happy retirement.
I grew up in an uppermiddle class city in Indiana. Most of the people
were easygoing, and some were high achievers, and many of them had interesting
lives with many hobbies. I was really into music and listened to the good
radio stations from Chicago and other places, and collect many records.
After highschool I started going to concerts and dance clubs which was
my passion. I worked to have money to do these things. I was also going
out with guys who took me to these places. My family belonged to a country
club, but that was not an interest of mine. Once in awhile I would be in
contact with people from lowerworking class neighborhoods, and I found
them extremely boring, social game playing, and the guys were out to get
sex before the first date, and not want to take you anywhere good. I worked
various jobs where I had contact with them, and did not like working with
them. They were not friendly, emotional, manipulative, and I found them
extremely hard to talk to.
People at work would say to me "You are very upperclass, why aren't
you married to a rich man and living in Beverly Hills? Why aren't you wearing
more expensive clothes?" Coworkers are very rude to me because I am the
type of person they have to wait on and I don't know how to handle their
tricky behavior. The standards of social class are different here, like
the better classes have to have more money to live in their neighborhoods.
The guys here are very hard to get, no matter how friendly you are to them.
You are rated on your job and money more than behavior, common interests,
intelligent conversation. I am trying to move back into my class, and trying
to find ways to make more money. I am a slim female, young looking with
long blond hair, friendly and that is all you need to get a guy in the
Midwest, but here the guys have a lot more demands.
Lynda from Lacombe, LA
I grew up in the heartland (Oklahoma) in a working class neighborhood,
the first generation of my parent's branch of the family to attend college.
My husband grew up in Mass., also from a working class. We have both graduated
from college and held professional positions, but as much as we mix with
the upper class, and live in a community where the majority of them live,
we still find ourselves fighting for the underdog,retaining our liberal
views and being more comfortable with working class types. It's frustrating,
our parents wanted better for us than what they had, but we feel guilty
in having it. We find that most of our good friends are the types we grew
up with.
John from Chicago, IL
As I've aged, I've come to realize the pervasive nature of class in
our lives. I was born and raised in a blue-collar, white ethnic middle
class Chicago neighborhood. My parents didn't attend college, and myself
being the oldest of two boys was the first to attend and finish college.
I later went on to earn a Masters Degree; and still doing work on a Ph.D.
In the mid 1980's, my parents moved out of the neighborhood I was raised
in to live in a more upscale/expensive suburban-like community in Chicago.
Around this time I was living in an apartment around the campus of The
University of Illinios at Chicago. In 1997 I decided to move back to the
old neighborhood I was raised in. I bought a home across from the house
I was raised in. To my dismay, my parents were quite disappointed about
my decision to live in a neighborhood they felt had changed for the worse.
The neighborhood had undergone a shift in population. In the 1960's and
1970's, the neighborhood was primarily white, having a strong P
The network of friends I grew up with from elementary through high school
have shunned the city and have moved to the suburbs. Some of the parents
of my friends still reside in the old neighborhood, and I see them often
and consider them my old/new neighbors. The interesting thing about all
of this is that my old friends consider my decision to move there odd.
In fact, they have a hard time confronting the issue with me. Instead,
they rather make a passing/disparaging remark rather than have a discussion
about their class background and where they are today. I would love to
have a in-depth discussion about class, our pursuits, attitudes, etc.,
but there seems to be a kind of dissonance about the entire subject matter.
In some ways, I think the whole "covering up" has had a negative impact
on our relationships. By not talking about our situations and where class
fits in, I believe that we have missed an opportunity to identify with
each other, to see the commonalities instead of assuming the differences.
I'm proud of my community. It has problems to be sure, but I'm happy
to be part of the solutions that it may require. We have a small neighborhood
association made up of people from different race and income groups, that
does things like landscape street corners, has community garage sales,
street cleaning, petition drives for traffic improvements, etc. This never
existed when my parents lived there.
The issue of class is very complicated. Our lives, though, revolve around
concepts and images related to class. Our lack of awareness about class,
I believe, has contributed to a separation from each other--and has stifled
the creativity and productivity instilled in us from birth.
Nita from Richmond, VA
I'm a white female who was born in 1947 and grew up in a working class
suburb just south of Washington D.C. Like most of my peers, I made choices
in highschool that both reflected and reproduced my social class background.
I "chose" to be a hairdresser and remained in that occupation for 22 years.
The quotation marks emphasize the reality that what we 'choose' to do in
life is clearly circumscribed by socioeconomic status. On the other hand,
mobility is also a reality. Today, I'm a university professor; I graduated
with a Ph.D. from the University of Virginia in 1998. I happened across
this site in a search for websites to add to an HONORS Sociology Course
I'm teaching this semester. It's wonderful! And I'm requiring that my students
visit and record their stories here as well as part of a series of exercises
they will do on social stratification. I look forward to visiting again...
S from Tulsa, OK
The issue of class has affected me a lot in the same way as the mother
who refuses welfare. I am a 22yrs old and mother of 1. I too face many
bills yet I work for very little pay. I struggle every month and am faced
with the questions my 4 yr old asks everyday. "mommy why can't I have those
shoes my friend does" etc...
My family is an upper middle-class family and cannot understand why
it is so hard for me to "Get my life together. My husband and I together
only make 28,000yr which if you divide that by two ISN'T VERY MUCH. I have
been lower than I am now (no gas/no electric/no food) and yet I didn't
ask for help. We are slowly picking up the pieces and have remained strong.
I think that people who judge people by what they look like, what they
drive, where they go to school..etc..need to live one day in my shoes.
Or for that matter one day in the life of a poor person.
Carrie from Monroe, GA
I come from a middle class family. I am the youngest of three daughters.
I am presently a college student at the Univesity of Georgia. My parents
are not paying for my college education. I earned a HOPE scholarship and
a national Pell Grant. I am not in a minority; nor, have I had some kind
of horrible life. I am just an average white girl trying to make a better
life for myself and my family. When I am a nurse practictioner, I want
my parents to have some of the things that they deserve to have while in
retirement. I want all of my five neices to have a chance to taste their
share of the American pie, too. I think that there is really no such thing
as class. I think that no one can truly be poor as long as they have the
love of God in their lives.
Barry from Chesterfield, MO
story: Birthdate: June 1960
I know first-hand how people's perception of your class can affect your
life. Both of my parents come from families that are working class or farmers
and relatively uneducated. My father was part of a highway surveying team
and then a technician collecting river water samples for the State of Kansas.
My mom was a housewife, raising us four boys.
We grew up on the east side and then the south-east side of Topeka,
Kansas. This was the poorer side of town. I graduated in 1978 from the
same high school as my dad, Highland Park High School. My friends and classmates
were largely black and hispanic.
Back then, it never occurred to me to think about my class or my parent's
class. I was one of the "smart" kids in high school and feeling pretty
good about myself as I went to college at Kansas University. But all it
took was one semester at KU to realize that I was not as prepared as I
thought! What happened!?
Only after my first semester and talking to some of my college friends
did I realize that going to HPHS and being one of the "smart" kids was
not a very impressive achievement. Like I said, I never thought about my
class status, but now it is apparent that my parent's class status played
an integral part in my life.
Topeka has three high schools, Topeka West, Topeka High, and Highland
Park. HPHS had the basketball team and the track team, but only later did
I find out that the others had the academics! Why?
The school board was elected at-large, which meant that it was from
the affluent west and central part of town. The upper class got the academics
and the lower class got the good basketball team!
As it turned out, I have done OK in life. I have an advanced degree
in Engineering and now live in an affluent suburb in west St Louis county.
I have good job and I am currently serving my third term of office as a
member of the Chesterfield City Council. You might say that I am now part
of the affluent class.
But I remain sensitive to the issue of class. I worry about my kids.
They do not have friends they play with who are black, hispanic, or of
other social classes. Will they be able to emphathize with those in a lower
economic class?
My wife and I struggle with making close friends in Chesterfield, and
it probably is because of the issue of class.
Many people in Chesterfield seem to be attracted to outward displays
of affluence. However, my wife and I don't seem to fit in because we don't
think it is necessary to join this club or send our kids to that private
school.
So we do the best we can, trying to teach our kids well and trying to
remain rooted in the solidly middle class while living in upwardly mobile
Chesterfield!
Ellen from Garrettsville, Oh
I don't seem to belong anywhere. My father and mother are both professionals
(a dentist and a college nursing instructor), who were raised in blue collar
homes. My father's parents were Italian immagrants. I am a teacher, and
graduate student, and my husband is a press operator in a packaging factory.
We work very hard to insure that our one child will be able to attend good
schools, live in a comfortable subdivision in a small town, and eventually
go to college.
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